A story of the travels of two assholes from this past weekend. Hank and I took a trip down to visit a friend at Southern New Hampshire University. Met way too many freshmen biddies for any dudes wellbeing. Our friend Em and her cute little friends took good care of us, showin us around and filling us in on the highly populated quido culture of beautiful SNHU. We finally went out and we got to completely indulge in a hoochie/ laxbro fiesta. Im not even 20mins into my bottle of classy champagne and I am told that Hanks outside the party bout to get arrested. I swim thru the sea of sweaty chicas and jersey bearing guyblows and find hank sitting on a rock wall hanging is head like an abused puppy. Mind you im looking at him through a tinted window and he looks as white as death. Apparently an RA saw him drinking out of a bottle of champagne, smoking a joint, outside a dorm building. He clearly didnt understand the concept of a college campus. Why they party on campus in the first place I dont know. The RA wasn’t buying his story of being lost and told him that he was gona have to wait for the police to arrive. Being the sharp shooter he is, he decided to eat every drug in his pockets figuring they are better inside than out and pretty much goes blind for 20 mins. Needless to say the cops never came and he spent the rest of his night pacing, talking faster than I thought possible. Saturday we strutted our shit in the mall and got to try out the new electric cigarettes. They are actually dope. No smoking rat poisen they are liquid nicotine. The smoke is really vapor and it has no smell. You can smoke them in resturaunts or on airplanes, wherever floats your boat. Sweet. That night we went out to another party and quickly decided we were gona splurge and hit up Boston. Around 11:30 we headed out and made great time down 93. We pickup my little brother and walk into a warehouse party that couldn’t have been a better welcome back to the home-land. Stripper poles, two djs, graffiti covered walls and Beantown biddies competing for who can drink more booze entertained us until a fistfight broke out because some dumbass took some kids mini football. A broken glass bottle whizzed by my head and had to thank the Boston gods for not taking one of my eyeballs. Later on in the morning I watched Hank beat the piss out of a middle-aged gangbanger and show me just how fast he really can run, even when his pants are sagging past his knees. We went to Bodegas, for those of you not from the area it’s a really sick store everyone should check out. You walk in and it is a boring run down convienience store, walk up to the soda machine and it automatically slides open and you walk into the cleanest, classiest urban clothing shop in all of Boston. Custom and limited edition Jordans, nikes, whatever you want they have something gaurenteed that no one else will be wearing. Check it out.
SNHU-ASS Example A:
